apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
