my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
