i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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