My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
She said her name was "party"
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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