She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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