How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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