I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
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