Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
