apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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