No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
