census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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