I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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