and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
