think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
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