oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
And my parents said I crawled through the house
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
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