honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
