i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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