this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
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