I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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