the condom got lost in my hair
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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