I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
Randomize
