he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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