Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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