ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
