I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
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