dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Randomize
