He is an equal opportunity slut.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
