I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Randomize