Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
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