hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
