hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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