Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I think my moral compass just broke
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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