Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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