Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
Randomize
