Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
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I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
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I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize