Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
