I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
Randomize
