I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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