3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
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