it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
