your room smells of hookers.
And success
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
