yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
