she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
