We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
