you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
