I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
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i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
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I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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