it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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