On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
