What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
