Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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