hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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