Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
