I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
