party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think I died a long time ago.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize