My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
