So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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