It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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