yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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