weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Why are your pants in the freezer?
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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