; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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