Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Randomize
