Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
