oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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