The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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