I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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