I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
