Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
